Teachers' Nightmare

Kids Are Quick
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this kid)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand...
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

The Amazing Architecture of World Expo 2010

Sunny Valley

the Spanish Pavillion

the South Korea Pavillion

the Polish Pavillion

the Luxemburger Pavillion

the Dutch Pavillion

UK Pavillion

Thought about men

Thought 1

When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
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Thought 2

The average man's life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
And at the end, the mourners wondering too.
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Thought 3

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

*******

Thought 4

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life."
Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including priest started laughing.... ...... But not the poor groom!

Bean

If Mr Bean....

If Mr. Bean had a baby

If Mr. Bean was in Avatar

If Mr. Bean was Justin Bieber

If Mr. Bean had a daughter

If Mr. Bean was Lady Gaga

If Mr. Bean was bin Laden

If Mr. Bean was in Legally Blonde

If Mr. Bean in Orphan

If Mr. Bean was a pirate

If Mr. Bean was the Pope

If Mr. Bean was Harry Potter

If Mr. Bean ran for President

If Mr. Bean was in Tomb Rider

If Mr. Bean was in Twilight

heart of gratitude

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."

I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it."

Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have.. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling…

And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

bukan tamak

Pada satu hari, Pak Ali pergi ke hutan untuk mencari kayu bakar. Ketika melewati telaga, Pak Ali tergelincir dan kapak buruknya terjatuh dalam telaga itu. Maka datanglah ikan Mas kepada Pak Ali.

Ikan: Kenapa kau pak Ali?

Pak Ali: Kapak ku terjatuh ke dalam telaga.

Ikan itu pun menyelam dan kembali bersama kapak perak.

Ikan: Inikah kapak mu?

Pak Ali: Bukan.

Ikan pun menyelam lagi, dan kembali bersama kapak emas.

Ikan: Inikah kapak mu?

Pak Ali: Bukan, kapak ku buruk saja.

Ikan itu pun menyelam lagi, dan kembali bersama kapak buruk.

Ikan: Inikah kapak mu?

Pak Ali: Ya, itulah kapak buruk ku.

Ikan Mas...da suka sikap Pak Ali yang jujur itu lalu memberikan ketiga-tiga kapak itu kepadanya.

Pada hari yang lain, Pak Ali berjalan di sekitar telaga yang sama bersama isterinya. Kali ini isterinya yang jatuh ke dalam telaga, sedih hati Pak Ali. Maka datanglah Ikan Mas...da lagi kepada Pak Ali..

Ikan: Kenapa kau bersedih?

Pak Ali: Isteriku jatuh ke dalam telaga.

Ikan itu pun menyelam dan kembali bersama Manohara.

Ikan: Inikah isteri mu?

Sambil menangis Pak Ali menjawab... "ya, itulah isteriku.... "

Ikan pun marah, "Sungguh aku tak sangka, kau yang jujur suatu hari dulu telah menjadi tamak".

Sambil menahan pilu Pak Ali menjawab, "Aku bukan tamak, kalau aku bilang 'bukan' pada Manohara... kau akan bawakan nanti Krisdayanti. ..kalau aku katakan 'bukan' juga, barulah kau bawakan isteriku..bila aku katakan 'ya', kau akan berikan mereka bertiga padaku...". Aku yang miskin ini tak mampu menanggung mereka semua".

Pak Ali teruuss...menangis. ..!!!