Human Race

If you cross the border

CROSSING THE BORDER ILLEGALLY -
READ THE CONSEQUENCES FOR DIFFERENT COUNTRIES

CROSSING THE BORDER

If you cross the North Korean border illegally
You get 12 years hard labour.

If you cross the Iranian border illegally
You are detained indefinitely.

If you cross the Afghan border illegally
You get shot.
If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally
You will be jailed.
If you cross the Chinese border illegally
You may never be heard again.
If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally
You will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.
If you cross the Cuban border illegally
You will be thrown into political prison to rot.
If you cross the British border illegally
You will be arrested, prosecuted and sent to prison and deported
If you are an Indonesian and cross the Malaysian border illegally
You will get:
- PR (Permanent Residence)
- A driving license
- Voting rights
- Job reservation
- Special privilege to be consider as a bumiputera
- Credit cards
- Subsidized rent or a loan to buy a house
- Free education
- Free healthcare
Oh Malaysia ! What a great country

Rokok tidak membahayakan

Banyak orang khuatir bahaya rokok dan menakutinya, tapi setelah diselidiki oleh beberapa pakar dalam bidangnya ternyata rokok itu sama sekali tidak berbahaya. Kemudian para pakar sepakat untuk membuktikannya dengan mengambil dari beberapa hikayat pada zaman dahulu kala di mana kala itu nenek moyang kitapun telah membuktikannya melalui beberapa percubaan.

Buktinya seperti cerita di bawah ini, dia tetap sehat walafiat. Untuk lebih jelasnya dapat dibuktikan lewat penemuan oleh beberapa dari ahli di bawah ini:

Pada zaman dahulu kala, ada tiga orang doktor. Mereka selalu bersama kemana saja mereka pergi. Tapi ketiga-tiganya memiliki kegemaran berlainan.

A. dr Jon Sumawan (suka main perempuan)
B. dr Jon Walker (suka minum minuman keras)
C. dr Jon Kretek (suka segala jenis rokok) ..

Suatu hari ketiga sahabat ini berjalan jalan tanpa tujuan. Tiba-tiba ketiganya bertemu dengan sebuah ketel/kendi (seperti cerita Aladin). Lalu salah seorang mengambilnya lalu menggosok2kan ketel tersebut. Sejurus kemudian asap keluar dari corong ketel tersebut dan secara perlahan berganti satu makluk yang menyeramkan yakni sesosok jin yang ganas.

Lalu jin tersebut tertawa: 'Ha ha ha...' dan berkata 'Akulah Jin Ifrit! Karena kamu telah membebaskan aku dari ketel itu maka aku akan tunaikan apa saja permintaan kamu sekalian. Ketigasahabat yang pada mulanya panik dan takut menjadi gembira lalu termenung dan berpikir tentang peluang dan kemauan masing-masing yang mungkin hanya sekali mereka jumpai dalam hidup mereka. Lalu mereka memilih kemauan mengikuti kegemaran masing-masing.

Berkatalah si A,'Aku mau perempuan-perempuan muda dari berbagai bangsa di seluruh dunia dan letakkan dalam sebuah gua tertutup dan jangan ganggu aku selama 10 tahun.

Pufff ........!! dengan sekejap mata jin menyempurnakan permintaan si A.

Berkata si B, 'Aku mau semua jenis arak dari seluruh dunia untuk bekal selama sepuluh tahun dan letakkan dalam sebuah gua tertutup dan jangan ganggu aku selama 10 tahun.'

Pufff .......... !! dalam sekejap mata jin menyempurnakan permintaan si B.

Berkata pula si C,'Aku mau semua jenis rokok dari seluruh dunia untuk bekal selama sepuluh tahun dan letakkan dalam sebuah gua tertutup dan jangan ganggu aku selama 10 tahun.'

Pufff ........... !! dengan sekejap mata jin itu menyempurnakan permintaan si C.

Setelah genap 10 tahun, maka jin tersebut muncul kembali untuk membuka pintu gua masing-masing sebagaimana yang dijanjikan.

Maka jin tersebut pergi membuka pintu gua si A, ketika dibuka maka keluarlah si A dengan keadaan kurus kering, berdiri pun tidak bisa karena tidak sanggup untuk menggerakkan lutut sebab hari-hari hanya memuaskan nafsu dengan perempuan.

Tiba-tiba si A pun jatuh ke tanah lalu mati!!

Setelah itu jin tersebut pergi ke gua si B, ketika pintu dibuka maka keluarlah si B dengan perut yang sangat buncit karena hari-hari mabuk-mabukan. Jalan pun terhuyung-huyung.

Tiba-tiba si B pun jatuh ke tanah lalu mati !!

Setelah itu jin pergi ke gua si C dan membuka pintu gua. Tiba2 si C keluar dalam keadaan sehat walafiat dan terus MENAMPAR si jin Sambil memaki si jin.

Dia berkata: JIN GUOBLOOOKK ...!!!! MANCISNYA MANA ...???!!!

Lesson-nya : 'Rokok Tidak akan berbahaya, sepanjang tidak ada mancisnya'

Pakcik kayoo !!!!

Our Ref: UN/EU/CITIBANK/622
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WORLD BANK GROUP AND UNITED NATION ORGANIZATION do hereby give this irrevocable approval order with Release Code: GNC/3480/02/00 in your favor for your contract entitlement/award winning payment with the UNITED NATION to your nominated bank account. Now you’re new Payment,United nation Approval No;UN5685P,White House Approved No:WH44CV, Reference No.-35460021, Allocation No: 674632 Password No: 339331 , Pin Code No: 55674 and your Certificate of Merit Payment No : 103 , Released Code No: 0763; Immediate Citibank Telex confirmation No: -1114433 ; Secret Code No: XXTN013, Having received these vital payment number , therefore You are qualified now to received and confirm Your payment with the United Nation immediately within the next 72hrs.

As a matter of fact, you are required to Deal and Communicate only with SIR. ANTHONY ADAM , DIRECTOR INTERNATIONAL REMMITTANCE CITIBANK OF UNITED KINGDOM, with the help and monitory team from the CITIBANK OF NEW YORK which is our official remitting bank, Committee On Foreign Payment Matters in United Nation, has look up to make sure you receive your fund valued $8.3m. So contact:SIR.ANTHONY ADAM on his contact information,Direct Citibank Telephone No +44-7031835960, Cell/mobile +44-7031823140 or Fax Number:870 28 7323, Email: siranthonyadam@aol.com for immediate release of your contract/inheritance/Award Winning claim. Be informed that you are not allowed to correspond with any person or office anymore, You are required to send bellow information for your transfer.

1) YOUR FULL NAME:
2) FULL ADDRESS OF YOUR CITY,STATE AND COUNTRY:
3) PHONE,FAX AND MOBILE:
4) COMPANY NAME, AND ADDRESS:
5) BANK INFORMATIONS:
a) BANK NAME:
b)BANK ADRESS:
c)ACCOUNT NUMBER:
d)SWIFT CODE/ ROUTING NUMBER:
6) PROFESSION,AGE AND MARITAL STATUS:
7) A COPY OF YOUR INT'L PASSPORT/DRIVERS LICENSE

NOTE: YOUR PERSONAL CONTACT/COMMUNICATIONCODE WITH CITIBANK IS(622),YOU ARE ADVICE TO SEND YOUR FULL BANKING INFORMATION TO THE CITIBANK OF LONDON INTERNATIONAL REMMITTANCE DIRECTOR HEADED BY SIR. ANTHONY ADAM AND MAKE SURE YOU SPEAK WITH HIM, WITH YOUR NEW PAYMENT CODE FOR RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT AND SEND HIM ALL YOUR BANKING INFORMATION NOW.
CONTACT CODE(622)

OFFICER:SIR.ANTHONY ADAM.
POSITION:DIRECTOR,INTL,REMMITTANCE CITIBANK LONDON.
TELEPHONE OFFICE/BANK:+44-7031823140,
FAX NUMBER:+44870 28 7323

Lima Perkara

Lima perkara semua kita mahukannya dan k ita usaha utk mendapatkannya:-

1:Wajah yang cantik
2:Duit yang banyak
3:Kesihatan yang baik
4:Anak2 yg cerdik dan berjaya
5:Tidur yang nyenyak tanpa ganguan

Senang jer untuk mendapatkannya hanya 15 minit setiap hari.


Kata Nabi Muhammad S.A.W; siapa yang tinggalkan solat subuh tiadalah padanya nur di wajahnya dan siapa yang tinggalkan solat zohor tiadalah padanya rezki yang berkat dan barang siapa yang tinggalkan solat asar tiadalah padanya kekuatan badan dan siapa yang tinggalkan solat maghrib tiadalah padanya anak2 yg bermanfaat dan barangsiapa yang tinggalkan solat isyak tiadalah padanya tidur yang nyenyak. (Sampaikanlah daripada nabi saw itu walaupun satu ayat )

' Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. ' Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286

5 DONT'S when you are sleeping

DONT'S when you are sleeping

A man can go two weeks without eating. But if he doesn't rest at all, he can only survive for one week. Sleeping provides us the time to rest our internal organs, eyes and brains. Poor sleep quality can cause internal damage to our internal organs and brains. Therefore, sleeping is very important to us. If you wish to have a long life and stay healthy, please take note of the advice below.

5 DON'TS when you are sleeping

DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.

DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA / UNDERWEAR
Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer. Well the same goes down there for guys..... imagine having a prostectic part. So go to bed without it.

DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible. Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used. These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system. Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.

DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up might have skin problems in the long run. Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring. You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.

DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' WIFE OR HUSBAND
You may never wake up again.

Therefore, tonight and for the weekend please have some good rest. Yet, do remember the last Don't.

Hari Kanak-kanak

aku rasa aku tak bermimpi tadi bila aku dengar Aznil dan kawan-kawan di konti Era sebut hari ni Hari Kanak-kanak. Lagipun ada satu budak dorang bawak sama dalam rancangan carta Era.

tapi bila aku semak, hari Kanak-kanak bulan Jun. Walau pun lain negara sambut lain hari, takda satu pun yang sambut Hari Kanak-kanak pada 7 Jun.

atau tadi Aznil dan kawan-kawan sambut Hari Kanak-kanak peringkat EraFM?

Apa pun, kanak-kanak hari ini jauh berbeza dengan zaman aku jadi kanak-kanak.

Mereka terlalu jauh ke depan sampai budak Form 2 (Form 2 masih kanak-kanak ke?) pun dah pandai lari ikut tingkap pegi beromen dengan boifren.

Atau pun dunia mereka bosan sebab masa lapang hanya duduk tercongok depan skrin TV sambil main game.

Tapi aku kadang-kadang kesian juga dengan kanak-kanak sekarang. Anak kawan aku baru tadika, tak cukup dengan bersekolah 5 hari seminggu, hari sabtunya kena mengadap cikgu lagi bila bapaknya hantar ke kelas pandai Matematik.

The blame

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital. He died.

The mother was stunned! She was terrified how she was going to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.

QUESTIONS:

1. What were the five words?
2. What is the implication of this story?

If you were the father, what would your words be when you meet the wife?

If you were the mother, what would your words be when you meet the husband?

ANSWER:
The husband just said "I am with you Darling".

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life...

There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Very often we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to be blamed, whether in a relationship, in a job, in school, in the family, or with the people we know when things go wrong. And, with this mental attitude, everything there after is bound to fail. Blame is the start of divide and discord. Blame never concord. But it is indeed very difficult to practice like in the story above because blame is anger or hate-based. And it blinds ! The mind justifies when it is clouded with blame.

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." – Winston Churchill